Dealing With the Feelings We Keep Pushing Aside

How do we deal with the uncomfortable feelings that sometimes settle into our hearts?

The feelings of being unappreciated, undervalued, overlooked, or pushed aside. Sometimes those feelings come from our children, our spouse, our employer, or even the people we consider close friends.

We give so much of ourselves, yet there are moments when it seems as though no one notices what it costs us.

As mothers, we often carry pain that no one else can see.

Everyone assumes we are fine because we continue doing what needs to be done. We prepare meals, care for our children, manage appointments, work, clean, encourage our families, and handle responsibilities that never seem to end.

We smile, answer “I’m okay,” and keep moving because other people are depending on us.

But the truth is that many of us are carrying feelings we do not know how to express or control.

We want to be good mothers, wives, friends, daughters, employees, and partners. We take these responsibilities seriously, so we convince ourselves that putting our feelings aside is simply part of our duty.

We tell ourselves that there is no time to be sad, disappointed, frustrated, or exhausted.

Eventually, however, the feelings we continue to ignore begin to show up in other ways.

They may appear as irritation over something small, sudden tears, emotional exhaustion, resentment, difficulty sleeping, or the desire to withdraw from everyone.

We may even feel guilty for having these emotions because we know there are things in our lives for which we should be grateful.

But gratitude and pain can exist at the same time.

You can love your family and still feel overwhelmed.

You can appreciate your job and still feel undervalued.

You can be thankful for your children and still need a break.

You can have faith in God and still experience sadness, confusion, anger, or disappointment.

Having feelings does not make you ungrateful, weak, or difficult. It makes you human.

So why have we become so accustomed to hiding our emotions?

Why do we allow everyone else the freedom to express how they feel while convincing ourselves that we must remain silent?

Perhaps we have spent so much time being the strong one that we no longer know how to admit when we need support.

Maybe we are afraid that speaking honestly will make us appear selfish.

Or perhaps we have tried to express ourselves before and felt dismissed, misunderstood, or unheard.

Whatever the reason, constantly ignoring our feelings is not healthy—and it is not fair to us.

So, what do we do now?

First, we must give ourselves permission to acknowledge what we feel.

Instead of immediately pushing an emotion away, pause and name it.

Are you hurt? Lonely? Angry? Overwhelmed? Disappointed?

Naming the feeling does not give it control over you.

It helps you understand what is happening inside your heart.

Next, find a safe way to release what you are carrying. Write in a journal, pray honestly, take a quiet walk, speak with someone you trust, or allow yourself to cry.

You do not have to make your emotions look pretty before bringing them to God. He already knows what is in your heart.

Scripture reminds us:

“The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.”

—Psalm 34:18 (NKJV)

God does not distance Himself from us when we are hurting. He draws near. We do not have to hide our pain from Him or pretend that everything is fine. We can come to Him tired, frustrated, confused, and completely honest.

He meets us in those vulnerable moments with comfort, strength, and love.

We must also learn to communicate our needs. The people around us may not realize how much we are carrying. Saying, “I need help,” “I need a moment to myself,” or “I don’t feel appreciated right now” is not selfish.

Clear, respectful communication gives others the opportunity to understand and support us.

Boundaries may also be necessary. Being a loving mother, wife, friend, or employee does not mean giving until there is nothing left.

Rest is not something you must earn after reaching complete exhaustion. Your emotional well-being matters too.

And if the feelings become too heavy to manage alone, seeking help from a counselor, pastor, support group, or trusted professional is an act of courage—not a sign of failure.

We do not have to continue suffering silently just because we are mothers. We deserve space to feel, heal, rest, and be heard.

You are allowed to admit that something hurts. You are allowed to need support. You are allowed to take care of the woman underneath all the responsibilities.

You spend so much time reminding everyone else that their feelings matter.

Please remember that yours do too.