The Women I’m Becoming Required Me to Let Go of the Women I Was

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the woman I used to be.

Not because I’m ashamed of her. Actually, I’m grateful for her.

She survived things she didn’t think she would survive.

She carried responsibilities that sometimes felt way too heavy. She loved deeply, made mistakes, learned lessons the hard way, and kept going when she was tired, overwhelmed, disappointed, and unsure of what was coming next.

She got me here.

But I’m realizing that I cannot become the woman God is calling me to be while holding onto every part of the woman I used to be.

Some things had to change.

Some things still have to change.

And some of those changes haven't been easy.

We talk a lot about becoming—becoming stronger, wiser, more confident, more disciplined, and closer to God.

But we don't talk enough about the letting go that happens along the way.

Becoming isn't only about what you add to your life.

Sometimes becoming is about what you're willing to leave behind.

I've had to let go of certain habits, mindsets, expectations, and the need to explain myself to everyone.

I've had to stop trying to make everyone happy.

I've had to learn that not everything deserves my reaction and not every misunderstanding needs an explanation.

I've even had to accept that some relationships may look different when you're growing.

Not everyone will understand the version of you that is becoming more intentional about protecting her peace, setting boundaries, following God, and taking her purpose seriously.

And that's okay.

There were seasons of my life when I did what I needed to do just to make it through.

I survived.

I pushed through.

I handled what needed to be handled because people depended on me.

And I'm proud of myself for that.

But survival mode can teach you habits that aren't supposed to follow you into every season.

You begin expecting something to go wrong. You feel like you have to handle everything yourself. You become uncomfortable asking for help. You become so focused on making it through today that you forget you're allowed to dream about tomorrow.

Sometimes the storm ends, but we're still living like we're standing in the middle of it.

I'm learning that I don't want to spend the rest of my life simply surviving.

I want to live.

I want to enjoy the blessings I prayed for.

I want to be present with my family.

I want to build things I'm proud of.

I want to laugh without wondering what will go wrong next.

I want to rest without feeling guilty.

I want to walk confidently in the purpose God has placed on my life.

Most importantly, I want to continue growing closer to Him.

I'm also learning that growth sometimes requires boundaries.

Not everyone deserves unlimited access to me.

Not every invitation requires a yes.

Not every battle deserves my energy.

And not every relationship has to remain exactly as it has always been.

I can love people and still recognize when something needs to change.

I can forgive someone and still create distance.

I can be kind without sacrificing my peace.

Another thing I've had to release is my need to control everything.

I like having a plan. I like knowing what comes next. And when something involves the people I love, I especially want to fix it.

But life has shown me over and over again that there will always be things outside of my control.

God has been teaching me that peace doesn't come from finally having control over everything around me.

Peace comes from trusting Him when I don't.

I'm learning that God doesn't always show me the entire plan.

Sometimes He gives me enough direction for the next step, and I have to trust Him with everything after that.

The woman I'm becoming thinks differently about her time, relationships, family, faith, goals, and purpose.

I don't want to be busy simply for the sake of being busy anymore.

I want what I do to have meaning.

I want my children to see a mother who didn't just tell them to chase their dreams but was brave enough to chase her own.

I want them to see a woman who loves God, makes mistakes, learns, gets back up, and continues growing.

I want my marriage, motherhood, work, business, writing, and relationships to reflect the things I say matter most to me.

And lately, I've been asking myself:

Does the life I'm creating match the woman I'm praying to become?

Sometimes the answer is yes.

Other times, God shows me another area where I still need to grow.

And that's okay too.

I don't hate the woman I used to be.

I thank her.

She did the best she could with what she knew at the time.

She loved.

She hurt.

She learned.

She survived.

She prayed.

She kept going.

But I don't have to remain her.

There are things she tolerated that I no longer will.

There are things she worried about that I'm learning to surrender.

There are battles she would've fought that I now have enough peace to walk away from.

There are opinions she cared deeply about that no longer determine how I see myself.

That's growth.

I'm still a work in progress.

I still overthink sometimes.

I still worry.

I still try to pick things back up after I've told God I surrendered them.

But I'm growing, and I'm learning not to dismiss my progress simply because I'm not finished yet.

Maybe you're changing too.

Maybe you're craving more peace. Maybe you're thinking differently about your future. Maybe certain conversations don't interest you anymore. Maybe you're becoming more protective of your time and more intentional about who and what you allow into your life.

Maybe the things you once tolerated don't feel right anymore.

Maybe you're growing.

We pray, “God, change me. Use me. Give me purpose. Draw me closer to You.”

Then we're surprised when He begins showing us the things we need to release.

But maybe the releasing is part of the answer.

I don't know exactly who I'll be five years from now, and I don't know everything God has planned for me.

But I know I don't want fear deciding my future.

I don't want my past controlling my present.

And I don't want to become so comfortable with who

I've always been that I resist who God is calling me to become.

So I'm giving myself permission to grow.

To change.

To create boundaries.

To dream bigger.

To rest.

To forgive.

To release.

To learn.

And to become.

I will always be grateful for the woman I used to be.

But I'm even more excited about the woman God is helping me become.

Beautiful Truth:

You don't have to hate the woman you used to be to become someone new. Thank her for surviving, honor what she taught you, and give yourself permission to become the woman God is calling you to be.