What If You Gave Yourself the Same Grace You Give Everyone Else?

I've been thinking a lot about grace lately.

As women, wives, mothers, friends, daughters, caregivers, and everything else we're called to be, we spend so much time extending grace to other people.

Someone forgets something? It's okay.

Someone is having a difficult day? Give them some grace.

Someone doesn't get everything done? They're doing the best they can.

Someone makes a mistake? Nobody is perfect.

But when it's us?

Suddenly, the rules change.

We expect ourselves to remember everything, handle everything, accomplish everything, and somehow do it all without becoming overwhelmed.

And when we don't?

We can be so hard on ourselves.

I know I can.

There are days when I look around and think about everything I didn't accomplish instead of acknowledging everything I did.

Maybe I didn't finish the laundry.

Maybe the house isn't as clean as I wanted it to be.

Maybe I didn't get enough work done.

Maybe I wasn't as patient as I wanted to be.

Maybe I didn't pray as long as I planned to.

Maybe I simply didn't have the energy to give everyone everything they needed from me.

And instead of saying, Lirann, you had a hard day. Give yourself some grace, my mind immediately starts listing all the ways I could have done better.

Why is it so easy to offer compassion to everyone except ourselves?

The truth is, I would never speak to someone I love the way I sometimes speak to myself.

I wouldn't tell another mother that she wasn't doing enough because her house was messy.

I wouldn't tell another woman that one bad day made her a failure.

I wouldn't tell another special needs mom that she should be able to handle everything without becoming tired.

I would remind her that she's human.

I would tell her to rest.

I would tell her tomorrow is another day.

I would remind her of how much she's already carrying.

And most importantly, I would remind her that God's love for her isn't determined by how much she accomplished that day.

So why shouldn't I extend that same grace to myself?

I'm beginning to understand that giving myself grace doesn't mean making excuses.

It doesn't mean I stop growing.

It doesn't mean I stop holding myself accountable.

And it certainly doesn't mean I stop trying to become the woman God is calling me to be.

It simply means recognizing that growth doesn't require me to tear myself down first.

God's grace has never required perfection from me.

Yet somehow, I keep requiring it from myself.

That's something I'm working on.

I'm learning that I can make a mistake and still be a good person.

I can become overwhelmed and still be a good mother.

I can need rest and still be productive.

I can have a difficult day and still be blessed.

I can struggle with my faith and still love God.

I can have moments when I don't have everything together and still trust that God is working in me.

There is so much freedom in realizing that I don't have to earn the grace God has already given me.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." — 2 Corinthians 12:9

Maybe today you need the same reminder I'm learning to give myself:

Give yourself some grace.

Speak to yourself the way you would speak to someone you love.

Forgive yourself for what you didn't know then.

Celebrate what you managed to accomplish today.

Rest when you need to rest.

Learn from your mistakes without allowing them to become your identity.

And stop expecting yourself to carry everything perfectly.

You are allowed to be a work in progress while still being proud of how far God has brought you.

We are so quick to tell everyone else, "Give yourself

some grace."

Maybe it's time we finally listened to our own advice.

Today, I'm choosing to extend some of the grace I so freely give to everyone else back to myself.

I hope you'll do the same.