When “Why Me? Becomes “What Are You Preparing Me For?

During a difficult season, have you ever sat alone and asked, “God, why me?”

Why is this happening to me? Why my child? Why my family?

I have asked those questions more times than I can count.

People often say that God will never give us more than we can handle. But some experiences truly feel like more than we can carry on our own. Maybe the lesson is not that we will always be strong enough. Maybe it is that we were never meant to carry our heaviest burdens without God.

One week after my daughter Amiah’s first open-heart surgery, I sat in a family lounge at the hospital while her surgeon was closing her chest. Another mother entered and sat near me. Her son was having his chest closed that day, too.

For the first few minutes, we sat in silence. In reality, it was probably not very long, but when you are waiting for news about your child, every minute can feel like an hour.

Eventually, we began talking.

As we shared our stories, we discovered how much we had in common. Our babies were only weeks apart in age. They had the same congenital heart defect, and our family situations were similar. Yet our children’s medical journeys had taken very different paths.

She told me that her son’s temporary repair in the cardiac catheterization lab had been successful. She had been able to take him home, and now he had returned for his complete repair at only two months old.

Amiah’s experience had been very different.

Her procedure in the catheterization lab was unsuccessful. She went into cardiac arrest and had to be placed on life support. At only three weeks old, her tiny body needed open-heart surgery to save her life.

The other mother told me that throughout her son’s journey, she had repeatedly asked God, “Why me? Why my family?”

After hearing Amiah’s story, she realized how differently her son’s procedure could have gone. That realization did not erase either of our pain, but it gave both of us a new perspective.

We talked for hours. Even after the nurses came to tell her that her son was ready and she could see him, she stayed with me until I received the news that I could go see Amiah.

Neither of us had spoken deeply with another parent on the unit before that day. She told me that the Holy Spirit had led her into the family lounge where I was sitting, even though another lounge was available.

I will always be grateful that she listened.

That moment reminded me that God can place the right person beside us at exactly the right time. Sometimes He does not immediately change our circumstances. Instead, He sends comfort, understanding, and companionship while we wait.

During Amiah’s most difficult moments, I repeatedly asked, “God, why me? Why her? Why us?”

Today, I understand part of the answer: we have a testimony to share.

Every morning as I drove to the hospital, I listened to gospel music. One song that stayed with me was “The Story I’ll Tell” by Naomi Raine. Its message reminded me that even when the moment is dark and I cannot understand what God is doing, I may one day look back and recognize that His hand was present the entire time.

That is exactly what happened.

Without those dark hours, this blog might not exist. I might never have met some of the incredible people who supported and encouraged me. I might still be sitting quietly in the back of my church, attending each week without truly connecting with anyone.

The pain changed me. It pushed me closer to God, gave me the courage to share our story, and prepared me for a purpose I could not yet see.

I would never say that difficult things happen simply so we can learn a lesson. Some experiences are heartbreaking, unfair, and impossible to understand.

But I do believe that God can take what was meant to break us and use it to strengthen our faith, encourage someone else, and lead us toward the work He has prepared for us.

Your hardest season may become the testimony that helps another person survive theirs.

The tears you are crying today may give you the compassion to sit beside someone tomorrow. The battle you never wanted may reveal a strength you did not know you had. The place where you feel most alone may become the place where God shows you that He has been present all along.

So, when you find yourself asking, “God, why me?” know that you are not wrong for feeling hurt, confused, or afraid. God can handle your honest questions.

But when you are ready, try asking a different question:

“God, what are You preparing me for?”

You may not receive the answer immediately. I certainly did not. But one day, you may look back and realize that even in the darkest room, God was writing a story that you would someday be strong enough to tell.

“God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble.”

—2 Corinthians 1:3–4 (NKJV)

This scripture reminds us that God’s comfort is not meant to end with us. He carries us through painful seasons so that, one day, our testimony and compassion can help carry someone else.